Citizen Jay and The Airplane

Hello there world wide webbers,

While all the merry little boys and girls eagerly awaited the festivities, and more importantly the presents that Christmas provides, and the adults anxiously waiting to welcome the new year. I have been counting down the days till I leave my friends and family in search of some uncharted adventure.

As many, if not all of you, are unaware of in 21 days I will leave the comforts of home to head off to what I know will be one of the most memorable journey I will probably go through. This trip marks my first solo backpacking trip, a trip that I myself technically organised, which is the basis of much of my worries.

I am not too well travelled and the furthest I have travelled alone was to New Zealand for a week at the tender age of 16, where I managed to miss my flight home. This was partly due to my host family thinking that all would be fine because they did not want to cut out on their social lives. I eventually ended up at the airport 30 minutes after my plane had departed stunned and in tears as my mother scolded me over the phone, routinely hanging up on me to express her anger because two days before I had asked her if I could stay a while longer. Although, traumatic I have learnt that earlier is better than later and listen to your gut instead of your host families.

As I sat at a party I was unwillingly dragged to after the fiasco, again at the request of my host family who also suggested I drive a manual car throughout Auckland to cheer me up — it would not, I thought to myself I will never live this down. I somewhat regret having reacted the way I did because quite frankly I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at those people again. Every now and then they pop up and I just can’t bare to look them in the eye or just make any contact.

I’m now a little proud to say I have not and neither have any of my family members, although they blame my inability to read 24 hour time, which I actually can. Hey, its a story I can tell people for a good laugh and I guess it would make an interesting ice breaker (I’ll tell you when I’ve used it to prove it).

Apart from my New Zealand misadventure many of my travels have involved a ‘responsible adult’ that pretty much has provided all the money, airfares, and the accommodation. Right now I have only 30 days accounted for everything else seems to be rather aloof, and yes I am due to depart in 21 days!!

Despite the underlying fear of what is to come I know for a fact it will definitely be an enjoyable one. I can’t wait to finally book my train tickets so I can finish booking my sleeping arrangements.

Let the planning resume wish me luck because I’m damn sure I will need it. Till next time.

Citizen J.

Citizen Jay and WordPress

Alright, I was going to write about my general fitness and the steps currently being taken to cease the deterioration of my all but poor health but again I come to a stand still about which platform to use.

Okay, so I’ve been on tumblr for a while now and so far the experience has been relative pleasant. It has been very simple and there has been very little issues with loading the website (especially when I want to post a new blog or what not) and doing general browsing. After having used tumblr I really only liked the aestheticism that tumblr provides I mean its easy formatting is done for you and the font is already amazing as it is, but when it comes to exposure WordPress seems to be the way to go (it also has a lot more features that I never previously endeavoured to explore. With that said I’m going back to it — but that doesn’t mean I’ll abandon this blog it’ll just be more random shit and things I double post.

I also didn’t want to blog about my new attempt at a ‘healthy lifestyle’ because its 4:50am and a healthy lifestyle consists of good sleeping habits as well as eating habits and quite frankly my days need to start operating the normal way.

As an omnivore that particularly loves to eat meat, due to it’s ability to satisfy and fill, I cannot resist the temptation meat pies offer.

This chicken and pork pie was baked my a friend and I. It was very delicious and after having almost a bottle of desert wine, i think it only fair I receive a pie of such meaty calibre to munch on.

Oh well!! I guess harry’s pies will be on my mind yet again.

Free Writing: Exercise #1

I thought I’d do some writing exercises here because quite frankly I can.

Four small bodies standing amidst the gum trees, their silhouettes projecting unto the dried leaves on the forest floor, from the setting sun. Their tattered and torn clothes skewed the silhouettes making them seem tired and twisted. The air was as dry as the leaves and the wind only proved to burn them at their time of need. 

The starry night had come upon them quicker than they had anticipated not giving them enough time to find proper shelter and attempt to find food. After days of endlessly trekking through the bush to find refuge, they finally came to a stop. They had found temporary shelter, one that could only house them for a day or too, just enough to stock up on the necessities. They group had been running in an attempt to avoid capture from their relentless foes, It wasn’t even a week ago that they all had been happily minding their own business and going through with their everyday transactions. Little did they know at the time that things were changing faster than any bullet train. 

Ha! Thats all I’ll write for know, I have to direction for this piece I just kept writing trying to keep everything ambiguous because I really had no idea where it would take me. Just let the mind unleash itself and bang! its like I’m reading John Marsden books, I mean in the bush and theres an ensuing war that they are trying to hide from. I could change it to a zombie theme but that would just be even worse. Well I guess theres only one thing I can do and thats to see what happens in the course of the next few weeks. When I edit this I’ll date it and then I’ll write little comments that inspired me to write that segment. I probably won’t end up doing it but thats fine, no one really reads these posts, which makes it better for me. 

I live 20-25 minutes from Sydney City and this is the view from my bus stop.

The far left is actually a road and behind it are a myriad of houses that blur and appear to somewhat sparkle in the summer heat.

It really is a diverse Eco-system.

I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Patrick Bateman, American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis

Audio

Citizen Jay on turning a darker shade of twenty …

Hey there world wide webbers,

I guessed it was high time to get off the procrastination band wagon and resume with some self indulgent, self centred blogging about the nothings that occur in my day to day life. I will impose this on to the world wide web – where you all reside – in a bid for you all to hear me bickering and moaning about my otherwise mundane life. 

Here we go …

My 20th birthday was most uneventful, partially to my own self imposed protest against my birthday, the day was spent doing something I seldom do, sleeping and the latter half was spent working. Although unannounced people managed to give me the usual birthday pleasantries, most without any inflection and in some cases without any wishful thinking. If anything many sounded as if they were simply automated reactions from the many years of birthday celebrations eventually creating a routine. Personally I attempt to make it more than just wishing someone happy birthday but rather draw out an experience and CELEBRATE their birth not just wish them happiness on this specific day of every year despite this I still did feel quite appreciated to which I thank those who were kind enough to wish me a happy birthday.  

Yes my birthday was in October and it is now late November but it still seems as this thought lingers in my head. I guess the only thing I loved about my birthday was the time I had to just think about things and not feel guilty to mull and reminisce about anything. Past, present, or future a guilty pleasure that I indulge in everyday, I make myself empty promises but as they say ‘its the thought that really counts’. 

As we grow up we experience changes, when we were younger we went through puberty and while we were in high school we all went through a period where we longed to ‘belong’ to a clique – the beginning of our ‘pack mentality’. Now as I leave my teens behind and enter into the world of the real young adults. No longer can our domains be described as a pond but rather as an ocean with the many tides, currents, and misadventures that inevitably shape our lives. It’s scary and part of that is the ‘freedom’ we experience. The freedom to do what we want without a definite guide to some sort of right or successful path, something that we grow accustom through our educations. We through the younger years of our lives learn the way from A to B and if at any one point we were to stray we would have someone to bring us back to the designated path but now as we do grow older that path is now skewed and lengthened with no ushers to put us back into place leaving us to stare directly into the abyss. 

My feet tremble 
and I cannot even assemble
a single thought in my mind. 

The words are jumbled
while I constantly stumble
through the walks of my life 

I am but twenty and young
living a life that feels unsprung
due to my indecision.

Constantly I’m mocked
by a loud and obnoxious clock
that ticks and tocks and recalls all my past failures.

Its taunts so loud,
I can barely even stand that fucking sound,
telling me to do more with this life.

I guess what I’m trying to say
that you should shut the fuck up,
leave me be, and let me go at my own pace.

  

  I maybe in the prime of my youth but there are still things that I have left unexplored, what makes it stranger is that I know I will look back on this and have a laugh about it. 

wordpainting:

reading-is-fun:

(via letusreadandletusdance)

Its true !!

Citizen Jay: …

Time and time again I promise myself change an academic makeover where I tell myself that I will apply myself and work harder to strive for certain goals, but as the cookie crumbles so to does that promise.

Like many university students around the world we tend to be inundated with assignments, exams, and an over bearing work schedule. For me however this is not applicable, I have two of the three problems and even work isn’t over bearing its just … well quite frankly over. Yet I still manage to find the time to do nothing.

I dare not read because I know that my mind will wander off into my psyche, my imagination, … my … happy place, where once I step into the magical world I can never get out. 

I choose not to play video games because for me thats just a plain waste of time (unless its Pokemon — please refer to above paragraph) 

All I ever do is worry about the work thats not done, the room thats perpetually messy, and the money that I do not have. I sometimes question whether or not I sleep walk or secretly get taken away at night to a government facility where they I have intensive training to become a sleeper spy - Hey! One can dream- because everyday is the same exhausted, sleep deprived, and otherwise non responsive. Apparently it was waking up dehydrated but I tried drinking water before, after bed and 8 glasses beforehand to no avail.

The main point is its my last week of Uni, I have three assignments and it seems as if I haven’t done anything all semester. I also have no money in the bank and currently have not slept in the past 24 hours. 

Jannus: Can function on minimal amounts of sleep and without breakfast (on most days).
I guess I can put that on my resume; Now the question of it being in Hobbies or Skills …